Southern Hospitality… Really far south…

So, when I was packing up to go to Panama earlier this month, I was in a hurry and had a lot of other things to do, so I laid everything out on my bed, that was to be put into my suitcase.  Two belts, shoes, a suit, dress shirts, everything I needed.  I was going to a wedding in Panama.  Cristal’s (my girlfriend)  cousin was getting married, and Cristal’s parents were flying me down there, and it was my first Latin wedding, so I had to have nice things to wear and had to remember to bring everything.  Well, my father came to pick me up, and I was running behind on all my other responsibilities, and I hurried and finished up all my other things and then ran to my room to pack, and through a bunch of stuff in my bag and we ran out the door.

I arrived in Panama late at night, then a two-hour bus ride to Cristal’s hometown.  The next morning, I got up and got a haircut, and then we were in the car for a five-hour drive to where the wedding was going to be .  Once we got to Boquete, I realized all the things I forgot to bring.  Like…. T-shirts.  Those two belts I set out to bring, yep, they were still sitting on my bed when I got back a week later.  So, I was really ashamed, I had gone all that way, and forgotten some very important things.  Now, it wasn’t a huge deal because clothing in Panama is really cheap.  But things in Panama work differently, it is a completely different culture.  Now I didn’t really want to tell Cristal’s parents (especially her dad) that I had forgotten such key things.  So I told Cristal, who’s first instinct was to tell her parents.  But she told her mom, and her mom knows that I don’t like to make a big fuss over things, and all I wanted was to be dropped off at a local store and buy a belt, but that isn’t how the culture really works, nor how Cristal’s family works.  If you have a problem, they want to help you fix at whatever cost.  So, Cristal’s father finds out, and we are driving into the city to go to a clothing store, we get there I find a nice leather belt for $4.00, and think perfect, the shirts were more American priced shirts, so I figured, well I have enough dress shirts, and Cristal’s family dress more nicely, so it is fine to go without t-shirts until I get to Cristal’s hometown where shirts are $1 each.  Perfect, right?  No, this is more of an American mindset.  Cristal’s parents take the belt from my hand and force me to pick out a shirt, and inform me that they will be paying for the belt and t-shirts, and there would be no arguing the fact.  They said that I was their invited guest and that they would take care of it, and that when they come to the U.S. I could repay them, but not while I was in Panama.
I told them, “Well I better start saving up for that day.”  We all laughed, but that is how it is.  Every time I have been there, I’m not allowed to pay for anything.  Now that might sound like a dream to some, but for me it is a little uncomfortable, because I grew up in Minnesota culture where it is more polite to refuse something offered to you, and then if the person persists in offering, then it is ok.  Kind of like a, I can do it myself attitude.  But in Panama, along with almost the rest of Latin America, it is rude to refuse.
So as I think and reflect back on it, I laugh at the fact that I forgot so much, and am admired at the love and hospitality shown me by Cristal’s family, and how good they take care of me, a little embarrassed at the whole situation, but also realizing that my statement about when her parents come here is pretty true….
I better start saving.